Ninja Drunk Misses Old Hollywood

Ninja Drunk plots her reapperance…

So apparently, when we were on vacation, I spent a little time as a super hero who poses as Norma Desmond fromSunset Boulevardduring the early evening but who is actually Ninja Drunk at night.

On St. Paddy’s Day I was inspired by my Irish side just a little too much. While I felt perfectly fine the entire day as we were traipsing about town, suddenly, and without warning, I was struck *gasp* — Very Very Drunk. There were some early warning signs I suppose… when I knocked the beer over at the Dunedin Brewery, when I stumbled down the hill on the way TO the Dunedin Brewery, when I tried to cut my veal parmigiana at dinner and instead shot it onto my bread plate – where I continued to cut it and then proceeded to eat it off the bread plate like it was supposed to be there… These things might have been clues to my deteriorating state.

After dinner it was time to go home. I fuzzily remember a cab ride back to the house…

This is how I remember the rest of the evening:

I walked toward the bedroom, turned in the hallway to look back at my husband Mike and our two hosts who were sitting on the sofa in front of the television, wished I could join them there but knew it would be best if I went to bed, and then went to bed. Mike came in to say goodnight, made me laugh about something, and then I went sleep.

What actually happened:

All right Mr. De Mille, I’m ready for my close-up… and a shot of Jack… and a bottle of aspirin

I came into the house and stood staring at absolutely nothing in the living room for a little while. When asked what I was doing, I struck a pose, leaning against the wall with one arm and announced with much dramatic flair I am going to the bathroom!

I made it half way to the bathroom, before I put my hand on my hip, spun to face the room again and said in old Hollywood style: I would like some water!

I went to the bathroom and then went to bed. Mike came in and didn’t just make me laugh – apparently I fell into a giggle fit that lasted well after Mike went back out into the living room. They could hear me cackling for several minutes afterward. I must have gotten up in an aborted attempt to join the group after that, because I didn’t stand in the hallway and look wistfully at them like I remembered… Apparently, I cracked open the door and stared at them, like some kind of Psycho Ninja Drunk. All they could see was my little eye peeping through the crack.

All and all, a good St. Patrick’s Day. As far as I know.

I think I must have been drinking Ninja cocktails, because they certainly did sneak up on me…

Tags: drinking, Dunedin Brewery, Dunedin Florida, funny drinking stories, st. patrick’s day