Author: user9kdv3sDvn5nv6-5hH-72G4Otrr

  • The Apartment That Wasnt

    First seen in Skirt Magazine Mike had escaped his ex-girlfriend and needed a place to live. I lived in a house with a dog and a huge crush on Mike, neither of which required much space.  We were at a tenuous moment in our courtship, and I felt keeping Mike near would cement our bond. […]

  • The Anti-Mommy: Child Climbs On Things Like A Monkey

    First off, it is bad enough when a child is sitting still and quiet, staring beady little eyes full of recrimination through your soul because you refused to play a 16th game of CandyLand. The idea that they are actually freely moving about the house is like some sort of horror movie where every time […]

  • Tequila And Jager… And A Lysol Chaser, Please

    Just so you know that my husband’s goofiness is clearly hereditary and therefore not his fault… Mike’s brother, Gary, was recently at a bar with his wife and he was feeling pretty good.  Undeterred by his already progressing state of intoxication, he decided to order one of his favorite drinks – the Bull Fighter – […]

  • Target Turned Me Into A Redneck

    Last weekend the nieces came to visit. We didn’t want to make the grueling hour drive, so my in-laws Gary and Heather packed up the kids with 700 Zip-lock baggies of The Only Food They’ll Eat, towels, Ipods, 15 changes of clothing, the dog and purple drinks. The only way we could talk them into […]

  • Street Cred

    Secretly, our family with children WANT us living the Kid-Free Life. It doesn’t matter how many times in their younger days Mommy and Daddy woke up curled around a toilet wondering who the person they are handcuffed to is.  To their kid, they are just a couple of old fogeys with bad hair who totally […]